Twenty years strong and looking forward

I find it hard to believe that CAPS is turning 20 this year. Although I have only been writing for them for five years, I feel the community bond is very strong, especially in an age when digital, blogging, social media and technology in general, is pushing to wipe out traditional forms of communications.

I want to thank every bibliophile for taking the time to read the paper and especially those who have taken time to comment on my column (albeit sometimes disagreeably).

Initially I was planning on writing about life twenty years ago, but because most of us have experienced it, and probably have vivid memories, I thought, I would write about where we will be twenty years from now.

The year is 2037, and I have just celebrated my 298th column for CAPS. I now write the entire column in a few minutes (instead of days) because I merely think about what I wish to say and the magic chip in my neck, automatically transfers it to e-readers and into your homes.

Scugog Township welcomes its two hundred thousandth resident, who has just moved into the 42nd floor of the Canterbury Commons Complex and Mayor Rowett is gearing up for his eighth municipal election. Bobbie Drew is seeking another term as Regional Chair, and is still opposing the amalgamation of Durham Region into the GTA.

Prime Minister Erin O’Toole is concerned about Albania hacking the Canadian Government servers, and is meeting with President elect Chelsea Clinton, who recently defeated Michelle Obama in the US elections of 2036, to try and stop the infiltration. WikiLeaks president Julian Assange, operating out of the Ecuadorian Embassy for 27 consecutive years, claims the accusation is a hoax.

Netflix launches its 46,327th channel, offering a complete collection of all 382 episodes of House of Cards, and the US Congress is expected to pass a motion to add Donald Trump’s likeness to the carvings of Mount Rushmore.

The Middle East celebrates its 10th anniversary of peace, and the third colony on Mars is expected to reach a population of two million, mostly made up of winter sports enthusiast, especially since the elimination of snow on earth, due to global warming. Fortunately tropical vacations are at an all-time high with the opening of the all-inclusive sun and sand resorts now taking over Greenland and Baffin Island.

In business, Apple announces its Apple Ear, and Apple Eye products, designed to replace the biological organs, which are not as dependable. The recent glitch of being able to see out of your ear has been rectified. Both devices will work in conjunction with the Apple Watch, still the company’s biggest source of revenue.

Oshawa, Ontario opens its newest automotive museum, dedicated to the historic automobile with driver’s seats. Children are flocking to see the relics, and cannot comprehend why someone had to sit behind a ‘steering’ wheel to operate a car.

Unfortunately not all things will be positive in 2037. The 407 ETR, although extended to Elliott Lake, now costs $428 to travel from Harmony Road to Lakeridge Road. Toronto’s aging Mayor, Kathleen Wynn, is favouring toll lanes on the Don Valley Parkway, as congestion is at an all-time high. Travel time from the 401 to the Gardiner is just over two hours.

Locally in business, Durham north is thriving. The library has eliminated paper copies of books, as no one is reading them anymore. The post office is concerned that electronic mail will eliminate postal delivery, and has increased the cost of a Canadian stamp to $14.98 plus 18% HST.

All in all I, look forward to the future and the gradual ease with which we embrace it. Congratulations to CAPS for reaching this wonderful 20 year milestone. I look forward to its continued success.

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